Unapoamua kupenda, vaa uvumilivu, ikibidi kubali kuwa bwege - 2

Na Luqman Maloto

Wiki iliyopita katika makala haya nilieleza kwamba ni lazima uheshimu hisia za mwenzi wako. Ukiheshimu hisia za mwenzi wako na ukawa unajali za kwako, itakusaidia kukufanya uwe na tumaini chanya wakati wote.

Wakati wa matatizo, hasa kipindi ambacho hampo kwenye maelewano mazuri, utabaki na imani kwamba yote yatakwisha.

Penda kuamini kuwa “hili nalo litapita” kwamba wakati ambao mwenzi wako amenuna, hataki kuzungumza na wewe, unachopaswa kufanya ni kuheshimu hisia zake na uamini kwamba mwisho atatulia na uhusiano wenu utaendelea kwa maelewano makubwa.

Ukitaka kulazimisha awe mchangamfu kwako kipindi ambacho amenuna, ni sawa na kukaribisha matatizo zaidi. Ni vema kuelewana, watu wengi wanakosea katika uhusiano wao kwa sababu hawatumii busara ili kuwaelewa wenzi wao pindi wanapoonesha hali tofauti.

Busara iendelee kuchukua nafasi. Maneno “hili nalo litapita” liwe somo kwako. Kwamba leo umerudi nyumbani, umetaka chakula cha faragha, mwenzako amekwambia hajisikii vizuri. Hutakiwi kupandisha mizuka na kusababisha nyumbani pasilalike kwa siku hiyo.

Badala yake unapaswa kuvumilia. Jiulize mmefanya tendo mara ngani katika uhusiano wenu, iweje siku hiyo akwambie hajisikii? Ukilazimisha ni sawa na kumfanyia mwenzako ubakaji. Si ajabu akikuona unakuwa mkali, akakubali kukupa kwa shingo upande lakini si kwa ridhaa yake.

Mapenzi ni matamu lakini siyo rahisi kwa maana, nyakati nyingine utalazimika kuvumilia mambo ambayo pengine yakakuumiza. Mko wawili na kujenga tafsiri ya mwili mmoja. Pengine hata makundi yenu ya damu ni tofauti. Ilivyo maumbile yenu ni hasi na chanya ndiyo na damu zenu zilivyo.

Tofauti hiyo mnaielewa na kuikubali, iweje siku ukirudi nyumbani unamkuta amenuna na hataki kuzungumza na wewe ushindwe kuelewa? Hapo ndipo uvumilivu wako unahitajika. Ni kipindi ambacho busara zako zinapaswa kufanya kazi kwa asilimia 100. Usilazimishe afanye upendavyo wakali mwili wake haupo tayari.

Unaingia faragha na mwenzi wako. Ameshindwa kukuridhisha kabisa. Ni hekima zako kutambua kwamba siku hazilingani. Mbona siku nyingine alikupa mambo mazuri mpaka ukasema ‘poo’? Tatizo ni nini? Pengine nishati za mwili wake kwa siku hiyo hazipo sawasawa na hata yeye hajui.

Ukimkejeli kuwa hajiwezi ni sawa na kumchinjia baharini. Siku zinazokuja atashindwa kabisa. Si kwa sababu uwezo wake ni mdogo, la hasha! Maneno yako ya kejeli na dharau ndiyo yatakayoufanya moyo wake usinyae na kukuogopa ndani kwa ndani. Fikra zake zitashambuliwa na ugonjwa hatari.

Si ugonjwa unaosababishwa na kirusi, hapana. Ni gonjwa la maneno litakaloshambulia ubongo wake. Kila mara kabla ya kuingia mchezo atakuwa na maswali ya kujiuliza. ‘Sijui leo nitashindwa tena?’ ‘Nikishindwa itakuwaje?’ ‘Atanitukana tena?’ ‘Hivi mimi ni mgonjwa?’

Mwisho wa maswali hayo atahitimisha kauli kwa kusema: “Inawezekana mimi ni mgonjwa kweli ndiyo maana nashindwa kazi.” Amini kuwa kauli hiyo ndiyo ugonjwa hatari ambao utashambulia hisia zake na kuusababisha mwili ushindwe kufanya kazi sawasawa.

Ukitaka kuendelea kufurahia mapenzi ni vizuri umpe moyo mwenzi wako pale inapoonekana ameshindwa kutekeleza kazi ya faragha inavyotakiwa. Kaa naye vizuri na umueleze kwa lugha laini kwamba baadaye au siku inayofuata mtafanya tena kikamilifu na hakutakuwa na kushindwa.

Ikibidi msifie, mwambie kuwa yupo kamili kwa sababu kila siku mnapoingia kazini huwa unatosheka. Mueleze kuwa siku hiyo anasumbuliwa na uchovu au hajisikii vizuri. Maneno hayo utayaona kidogo lakini yatamjenga ipasavyo. Yatamrejeshea ari na afya, kwa hiyo siku nyingine hatakuogopa.

Mapenzi ni matamu lakini siyo rahisi. Hii imesababisha watu wengi kushindwa kushirikiana vema na wenzi wao. Jambo dogo la kumuelewesha mwenzake linakuwa tatizo mpaka uhusiano unageuka shubiri. Wawili walioitana majina matamu na yenye kupendeza, wanageuka maadui.

Wanatangaziana sifa mbaya. “Yule muoneni hivyo hivyo kwa nje, hajiwezi kabisa kitandani.” Ni maneno ambayo si mageni. Yanasababishwa na watu kutotambua thamani ya mapenzi, ugumu uliopo ili iwe rahisi kwao kupata alama A kwenye uhusiano wao. Mapenzi ni magumu lakini ni rahisi sana.

Kanuni ni moja tu, kuwa mwelewa. Unaona mwenzi wako anashindwa kukufikisha unapopataka, wewe una jukumu la kumwelewesha. Mfahamishe maeneo ambayo anatakiwa ayafanyie kazi ili ufurahie tendo. Amini kuwa ukifanya hivyo, itakuwa rahisi kwako. Mapenzi ni asali itulizayo moyo.

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Oo you know top ten most endangered species

1.Bluefin Tuna

The bluefin tuna has escaped being placed on the endangered species list, but the majestic fish prized by sushi lovers will be listed as a “species of concern” by the federal agency that oversees America’s fisheries.After extensive scientific review, the National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration announced Friday it has determined that bluefin tuna does not warrant protection under the Endangered Species Act. The agency conducted the review after the Center for Biological Diversity submitted apetition seeking an endangered status for the fish, claiming the species faces possible extinction because of overfishing and habitat degradation, including effects of the BP oil spill on bluefin spawning grounds in the Gulf of Mexico.Even though bluefin will not be listed as endangered or threatened, NOAA officials said they still have concerns about the fish, which can swim at speeds faster than 50 mph and grow to more than half a ton in size.(via)

2.Leatherback turtles

Leatherback turtles are protected by various international treaties and agreements as well as national laws. They are listed in Appendix I of the Convention on International Trade in Endangered Species of Wild Flora and Fauna , which means that international trade of this species is prohibited. Leatherbacks are listed in Appendices I and II of the Convention on Migratory Species  and are protected under the following auspices of CMS: the Memorandum of Understanding on the Conservation and Management of Marine Turtles and their Habitats of the Indian Ocean and South-East Asia  and the Memorandum of Understanding Concerning Conservation Measures for Marine Turtles of the Atlantic Coast of Africa. Leatherbacks are protected under Annex II of the Specially Protected Areas and Wildlife  Protocol of the Cartagena Convention. The U.S. is a party of the Inter-American Convention for the Protection and Conservation of Sea Turtles , which is the only international treaty dedicated exclusively to marine turtles.(via)

3.Mountain Gorilla

Mountain Gorilla is one of the two subspecies of the Eastern Gorilla. There are two populations. One is found in the Virunga volcanic mountains of Central Africa, within three National Parks: Mgahinga, in south-west Uganda; Volcanoes, in north-west Rwanda; and Virunga in the eastern Democratic Republic of Congo . The other is found in Uganda’s Bwindi Impenetrable National Park. Mountain gorillas  are listed as Endangered by the International Union for Conservation of Nature Red List of Threatened Species . Endangered means the maximum population reduction over a three-generation  period from the 1970s to 2030 is suspected to exceed 50%, hence qualifying this species for Endangered under criterion A4.(via)

4.Monarch butterfly

The Monarch butterfly is one of the most familiar of butterflies; it is a widespread, common species. The Monarch is native to North and South America, but spread throughout much of the world in the 1800′s.   Although the Monarch is not an endangered species the annual migration is considered a threatened phenomenon by IUCN. Since there are very few overwintering sites where the adults aggregate their populations become vulnerable. These sites are threatened by human activities  in Mexico and California. Logging, development, and agriculture are the most serious threats. In order to save these sites the Monarch Project was created in 1984.(via)

5.Javan Rhinoceros

The Javan Rhinoceros is a member of the family Rhinocerotidae and one of five extant rhinoceroses. Javan Rhinos are endangered because mostly humans and the eruption of Krakatau Volcano in Indonesia. Most people hunt them for their horns because it is very strong and is good for decorations. They are in the brink of extinction and there are 60 left in the world that number probably has changed but that’s a estimate.

6.Giant Panda

The giant panda is the rarest member of the bear family and among the world’s most threatened animals. It is universally loved, and has a special significance for WWF as it has been the organization’s logo since 1961, the year WWF was founded. The panda is a conservation reliant endangered species. A 2007 report shows 239 pandas living in captivity inside China and another 27 outside the country.  Wild population estimates vary; one estimate shows that there are about 1,590 individuals living in the wild, while a 2006 study via DNA analysis estimated that this figure could be as high as 2,000 to 3,000.  Some reports also show that the number of pandas in the wild is on the rise.  However, the IUCN does not believe there is enough certainty yet to reclassify the species from Endangered to Vulnerable.(via)

7.Tiger

The tiger is the largest cat species in the world; the largest tiger sub-species is the Siberian tiger. The approximate weight of the male is 500 pounds and the female is 300 pounds.  Today, the world tiger population still only numbers about 5,000 to 7,000 animals. An intense effort is under way to save the endangered tigers. Unfortunately, tigers are still illegally hunted for their fur, bones and other parts tosupply markets in China and Taiwan. Tigers have been hunted to near extinction by poachers, and all subspecies have been declared endangered.(via)

8.Polar Bear

The polar bear  is a bear native largely within the Arctic Circle encompassing the Arctic Ocean, its surrounding seas and surrounding land masses. It is the world’s largest land carnivore and also the largest bear, together with the omnivorous Kodiak Bear, which is approximately the same size. The U.S. Department of the Interior listed the polar bear as a threatened species under the Endangered Species Act, citing the melting of Arctic sea ice as the primary threat to the polar bear.  While listing the polar bear as a threatened species, the Interior Department added a seldom-used stipulation to allow oil and gas exploration and development to proceed in areas inhabited by polar bears, provided companies continue to comply with the existing restrictions of the Marine Mammal Protection Act. The main new protection for polar bears under the terms of the listing is that hunters will no longer be able to import trophies from the hunting of polar bears in Canada.(via)

9.Pacific Walrus

The walrus  is a large flippered marine mammal with a discontinuous circumpolar distribution in the Arctic Ocean and sub-Arctic seas of the Northern Hemisphere. The walrus is the only living species in the Odobenidae family and Odobenus genus. The Pacific walrus warrants protection under the Endangered Species Act, but an official rulemaking to propose that protection is currently precluded by the need to address other higher priority species, the U.S. Fish and Wildlife Service determined Tuesday.

10.Magellanic penguin

Magellanic penguin is the largest of the warm-weather penguins.  They have a wide black strip under their chin and another is in the shape of an upside down horseshoe on their stomachs. On their chests they have scattered black spots. According to the Wildlife Conservation Society more than 40,000 penguins in Argentina died a year in the 1980′s due to oil pollution. Over fishing depletes the ocean of the penguins food supply. When penguins have to swim further in search for food, this is less time they are able to spend nesting and raising their offspring. Offspring often die due to short food supplies. The higher climate change affects the food chain, and also threatens the Magellanic Penguin. When waters become too warm, it depletes the supply of plankton, who feed the fish, who feed the penguins.

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US soldier dies saving Afghan girl

Sgt. Dennis Weichel, 29, of the Rhode Island National Guard died saving the life of a little girl in northeast Afghanistan, according to the Rhode Island National Guard.

According to the report, Weichel was in a convoy in Laghman Province last week when he noticed some children were in the path of the moving vehicles. Weichel and other soldiers got out to move them out of the way.

According to the press release, while most of the children scattered away, one girl went back to the road, as a Mine-Resistant Ambush-Protected vehicle continued moving toward her.

MSNBC NEWS

Turkey police break up education bill protest Demonstrators in Ankara protested a bill proposed by government that seeks to boost the influence of Islamic schools.

Turkish police have fired tear gas and water cannons to disperse thousands of people protesting an education reform bill that opponents say will boost the influence of Islamic schools, a move seen as contrary to Turkey's secular constitution.

Police broke up the demonstration in Ankara on Thursday, ending a two-day standoff with protesters who wanted to march toward Parliament where the bill is being debated.

The government wants to overturn a 1997 law that kept students under 15 years old from attending religious "imam

hatip" schools. That law led to a sharp decline in attendance at the schools.

A Reuters witness said protesters threw stones at riot police on Thursday as they moved in to break up the demonstration after refusing the group's request to march on parliament. There were further clashes in side streets.

Similar demonstrations held elsewhere in Turkey on Wednesday were also broken up by police.

Several demonstrators were hurt in the clashes on Thursday, but t here were no reports of detentions or major casualties among protesters at the rally organised by the KESK public workers union confederation.

Parliament is hotly debating a bill overturning the 1997 law, that was imposed with the backing of the military.

Parliamentarians on Thursday accepted a proposal from Prime Minister Tayyip Erdogan's AK Party to offer optional courses on the Quran and the Prophet Mohammad's life for middle and upper school pupils - from about 10 to 18 years old.

The assembly was expected to approve the bill in the coming days and the AK Party is able to call on a large parliamentary majority to push the law through.

The 1997 law had led to a sharp decrease in the numbers at iman hatip schools which were originally set up to train Muslim clerics. Erdogan and half his cabinet attended such schools.

The main secular opposition People's Republican Party (CHP) agrees on the need for education reform, but says Erdogan is seeking revenge for the 1997 law and attempting to bring about his stated desire to raise a "religious youth".

Al Jazeera English

BlackBerry maker RIM posts major loss Struggling Canadian firm reports net loss of $125m for its fiscal fourth quarter despite a shake-up in leadership.

BlackBerry maker Research In Motion (RIM) has posted a quarterly loss - disappointing first results for the firm's new chief executive, who moved to shake up the struggling company's top ranks.

The Canadian firm on Thursday reported a net loss of $125m for its fiscal fourth quarter to March 3, compared with a profit of $418 million a year earlier.

That dragged down the full fiscal 2012 profit to $1.16bn, down sharply from $3.4bn a year earlier as RIM battled against Apple's iPhones and iPads and an onslaught of Android-powered devices.

RIM also said Jim Balsillie, a co-founder and co-chief executive until his resignation in January, would step down from the board, completing his retirement from the company.

In addition to the Balsillie departure, RIM said David Yach will be retiring from his role as chief technology officer and Jim Rowan, chief operating officer for global operations, "has decided to pursue other interests."

The results provided a rocky start for chief operating officer Thorsten Heins, who was named president and CEO after the resignation of Balsillie and co-CEO Mike Lazaridis following months of investor pressure for a change.

"I have assessed many aspects of RIM's business during my first 10 weeks as CEO," Heins said in a statement.

"I have confirmed that the company has substantial strengths that can be further leveraged to improve our financial performance, including RIM's global network infrastructure, a strong enterprise offering and a large and growing base of more than 77 million subscribers."

Later, in a conference call with analysts, Heins did not rule out a sale of the company, saying he would be open to hearing purchase offers, and said the group would undertake a "comprehensive review of strategic opportunities."

Share prices have fallen 80 per cent since little more than a year ago, putting market capitalisation at about $7bn - meaning the company is particularly vulnerable.

During the past quarter, RIM shipped some 11.1 million BlackBerry smartphones - down 21 per cent from the previous quarter - and over 500,000 BlackBerry PlayBook tablets.

In a sign of the company's tough times, it did not publish a financial forecast for upcoming quarters, as it has in the past.

Heins acknowledged that "the business challenges we face over the next several quarters are significant and I am taking the necessary steps to address them."

Aljazeera English

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Do you Know Top ten wonderful things about humans

1/Blushing

Blushing and embarrassment go hand in hand. Feeling flushed is such a natural response to sudden self-consciousness that if it weren’t part of an emotionally crippling experience, it could almost be overlooked. But blushing is unique, which is why scientists want to know more about blushing. While the psychology of blushing remains elusive, we do understand the physical process involved. Here’s how it works.Blushing from embarrassment is governed by the same system that activates your fight-or-flight response: the sympathetic nervous system. This system is involuntary, meaning you don’t actually have to think to carry out the processes. In contrast, moving your arm is a voluntary action; You have to think about it, no matter how fleeting the thought is. This is good, because if moving your arm was involuntary, people would end up buying a lot of stuff they don’t want at auctions.

2/Laughter

Laughter is a great thing — that’s why we’ve all heard the saying, “Laughter is the best medicine.” There is strong evidence that laughter can actually improve health and help fight disease. In this article, we’ll look at laughter — what it is, what happens in our brains when we laugh, what makes us laugh and how it can make us healthier and happier. You’ll also learn that there’s a tremendous amount that no one understands yet. Human beings love to laugh, and the average adult laughs 17 times a day. Humans love to laugh so much that there are actually industries built around laughter. Jokes, sitcoms and comedians are all designed to get us laughing, because laughing feels good. For us it seems so natural, but the funnything is that humans are one of the only species that laughs. Laughter is actually a complex response that involves many of the same skills used in solving problems.

3/Pubic hair

The development of pubic hair can be assessed using the Tanner scale. Before the onset of puberty, the genital area of both boys and girls has very fine vellus hair, referred to as Tanner stage 1 hair.As puberty begins, the body produces rising levels of the sex hormones known as androgens, and in response the skin of the genital area begins to produce thicker and rougher, often curlier, hair with a faster growth rate.The onset of pubic hair development is termed pubarche. The change for each hair follicle is relatively abrupt, but the extent of skin which grows androgenic hair gradually increases over several years.Pubic hair and axillary (armpit) hair can vary in color considerably from the hair of the scalp. In most people it is darker, although it can also be lighter. In most cases it is most similar in color to the eyebrows of the individual.On some individuals, pubic hair is thick and/or coarse; on others it may be sparse and/or fine; these varieties may appear in either sex. Hair texture varies from tightly curled to entirely straight. Pubic hair patterns can also vary by race and ethnicity.

4/Adolescence

Adolescence is the life stage that bridges childhood and adulthood. In general, it represents the second decade of life. Many psychologists have begun to seperate this life stage into several, including early adolescence (10-13 yrs), traditional or mid-adolescence (14-18 yrs), and late adolescence or youth (19-23 yrs).The development of adolescents is characterized by continuity and discontinuity. Physically, adolescents are still influenced by their inherited genes, but now the inheritance interacts with new social conditions with family, peers, school, dating, and friendships. Socially, an adolescent has already spent years interacting with parents, friends, and teachers. Now, though, new experiences arise andrelationships take on a different form, especially concerning dating and intimacy. And lastly, thecognitive development of adolescents involves thought processes that are more abstract and idealistic.Adolescents contribute to society in countless, influential ways. They publish newspapers and magazines, run businesses, and serve as leaders in schools and communities.

5/ sleep and dreams

The human brain is a mysterious little ball of gray matter. After all these years, researchers are still baffled by many aspects of how and why it operates like it does. Scientists have been performing sleep and dream studies for decades now, and we still aren’t 100 percent sure about the function of sleep, or exactly how and why we dream.Dreams can occur in any of the four stages of sleep, but the most vivid and memorable dreams occur in the last stage of sleep (also commonly referred to as REM sleep). The sleep cycle repeats itself about an average of four to five times per night, but may repeat as many as seven times. Thus, you can see how a person has several different dreams in one night. However, most people only remember dreams that occur closer toward the morning when they are about  to wake up. But just because you can’t remember those dreams do not mean that they never happened. Some people believe that they simply do not dream, when in reality, they just don’t remember their dreams.

6/Altruism

Altruism (also called the ethic of altruism, moralistic altruism, and ethical altruism) is an ethical doctrine that holds that individuals have a moral obligation to help, serve, or benefit others, if necessary at the sacrifice of self interest. Auguste Comte’s version of altruism calls for living for the sake of others. One who holds to either of these ethics is known as an “altruist.”Altruism may be seen as similar to utilitarianism, however an essential difference is that the latter prescribes acts that maximize good consequences for all of society, while altruism prescribes maximizing good consequences for everyone except the actor. Arguably, however, since the rest of society will almost always outnumber the utilitarian, a genuine utilitarian will inevitably end up practicing altruism or a form of altruism.

7/Art

Art is a (product of) human activity, made with the intention of stimulating the human senses as well as the human mind and/or spirit; thus art is an action, an object, or a collection of actions and objects created with the intention of transmitting emotions and/or ideas.The meaning of art is explored in a branch of philosophy known as aesthetics, whereas disciplines such as anthropology, sociology and psychology analyze its relationship with humans and generations.Art tends to facilitate intuitive rather than rational understanding, and is usually consciously created with this intention.citation needed] Fine art intentionally serves no other purpose.dubious – discuss] As a result of this impetus, works of art are elusive, refractive to attempts at classification, because they can be appreciated in more than one way, and are often susceptible to many different interpretations. In the case of Géricault’s Raft of the Medusa, special knowledge concerning the shipwreck that the painting depicts is not a prerequisite to appreciating it, but allows the appreciation of Géricault’s political intentions in the piece. Even art that superficially depicts a mundane event or object, may invite reflection upon elevated themes.

8/Superstition

Superstitions began centuries ago when our ancestorstried to explain mysterious circumstances or eventsas best they could with the knowledge they had.For instance, before the development of science explainedsuch strange things as why mirrors show our reflectionsor why shadows appear when it’s sunny, ancient peoplereasoned that a shadow or reflection was part of their soul.If someone broke something onto which the shadowor reflection appeared, people believed that their soul was harmed.Therefore, when a person broke a mirror it was considered unlucky or harmful.Today we know that reflections and shadows are not part of our soulsbut if someone still believes it is bad luck tobreak a mirror they are said to be superstitious.So a superstition is “a belief or practice” that people cling to even afternew knowledge or facts prove that these silly beliefs are untrue.

9/Kissing

Kissing is the beautiful act of one pair of lips touching another pair. It’s really not as easy as it looks in the movies. Making out can be pretty nerve wracking if you’re not sure what you’re doing. Whether you’re a teen starting out – anxious about an awkward meeting of noses and how to hide that hickey – or an adult wanting to get more creative with your technique and impress your partner, we’ve got all the information you need right here.Depending on the culture, relationship and context, a person may kiss another on their lips, cheek, head, hand and each of these gestures may carry a different social significance.The act of kissing on another person’s lips has become a common expression of affection among many cultures worldwide. Yet in certain cultures, kissing was introduced only through European settlement; prior to this, kissing was not a routine occurrence. Examples of this include certain indigenous peoples of Australia, the Tahitians, and many tribes in Africa

10/Nose-picking

Nose-picking is defined as the act of inserting a finger (or in some cases an object) into one’s own nostrils with the aim of removing a piece of dried nasal secretion obviously, we all know that. Nose-picking (or referring to it) in public is generally frowned upon and perceived as a disgusting, bad habit. Despite this, it is a ubiquitous behaviour. Nose-picking is practised by the majority of individuals – regardless of gender, age and cultural background. Nose-picking is, bar a few rare exceptions, harmless.In many cultures nose-picking is considered a private act aki          to defecation, urination, flatulence, and belching. Mucophagy, the act of eating the extracted mucus, may be considered more taboo, and is sometimes portrayed in comedies. To be caught nose-picking may be considered humiliating.