"Natamani sana kum Cheat mke wangu lakini Nampenda sana"

Thinking

How many men think about this statement that they love their wives but they still feel the desire to cheat on them?

There are men that think about cheating and it may not be all the time or it just may be because they are going through a rough patch in the marriage, but in many instances it is more normal than one may think. Men think about sex often and the thought of having sex with another person is part of being human in both men and women.

The intense sexual urges that some men feel especially when they may not be sexually intimate with their wives can add to their thoughts about cheating even more. Understanding that this is normal is not to say that it is acceptable or a man should act on his feeling, but it is still a fact.

Staying monogamous with one person for life is not a natural human trait. In fact there is nothing natural about it, but as humans we have the ability to make a choice to stay monogamous in our marriage but, it takes work. It is not just a given that once a person marries they all of a sudden don't have those natural feeling to mate again.

Communicating

Many times a husband will find it easier to cheat on his wife rather than tell her that he is not happy with their sex life. The other reason that he may cheat is to feel a sense of being a man again, having a woman want him, desire him. For other men having an erotic fantasy played out if not with his wife given the opportunity he may turn to another woman.

A suggestion to women is to communicate with her husband openly about their sex life, get help if the sex in the marriage is not longer good or that a husband has grown distant.

For men who do have a desire to experiment sexually or have gotten bored with the sex in the marriage, it is your responsibility as will to try and communicate to your wife and seek help before having an affair.

Consequences

The real question is, as a man that still loves his wife and is thinking about cheating on her, if she finds out it will crush her and that love that the two of you share will be gone. She will not look at you the same way again and it will be a huge breach in the marriage.

The best possible thing to do is to let her know that you are unhappy in the marriage and that you are thinking about cheating. This is in fact being loving considering the alternative. Marriage is a two way street and the more that couples can become open and honest with each other about sexual intimacy in the marriage, the less cheating that will go on.

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