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Monday, 21 January 2013

HIZI NDIZO ALAMA SABA ZITAKAZO KUONESHA KWAMBA BOYFRIEND WAKO ANATAKA KUACHANA NA WEWE, SOMA HAPA



Love and relationships is a beautiful thing and we all would like to experience them but not all of the time is the person we’re with the right one for us. This leads to the dreaded “break up” that we all hope not to go through but it is inevitable andnecessary for progress.
We must move on and leave unfulfilling relationships if we want to reach our goal of finding “the one”. Now I’m no love expert and have no degrees in studying relationships which to some extent is good because I am speaking from real experiences and not just statistics but I would like to share my knowledge to help others in this situation.
I’m only speaking from a woman’s point of view because I can’t speak for what goes on in a man’s mind. Sometimes we go into denial and blow off obvious signals that he is about to give you the boot. I will give examples of each sign from my own past failed relationships to help give you an idea.
This isn’t your typical top ten signs your guy is going to leave you. I’m talking about all of them. Now I might have missed some so this isn’t the full complete list so if you have more please share with us your experiences. So what are the signs that your boyfriend is ready to let you go and move on?
He makes comments about attractive women and not so much you
If your guy cares about you, he’ll be complimenting your attractiveness left and right while ignoring other girls. If he starts commenting about how sexy another woman is right in front of you and stops commenting on your sexiness, that’s a sign he’s done with you. You no longer appeal to him so his eyes are wandering and he doesn’t care if you know it. Ex: My ex would mention how cute the girls in his film class were right in front of me and would even suggest me doing things that they did to try and make myself look better.
He doesn’t do what he says he will/ then does it immediately after you’re gone
Naturally we have to bug guys nonstop to get him to take the trash out or mow the lawn, that’s normal actually but when it comes to more important things that’s when it becomes a bad sign. If he goes on about getting a better job so he can care for his family and never does then five years go by, that’s a bad sign.
It’s even worse if directly after he lets you go he does it then hooks up with another. He tells you that he will do things with you but then mysteriously bails every time it comes up. Ex: My ex for two years talked about making a film and did nothing with it until after I was gone. He never took photos of himself but suddenly after I was gone he became a photo hound taking pictures of himself nonstop. He promised to take me camping but every time the chance came he made up excuses to keep it from happening.
He turns you into the bad guy when you haven’t done anything at all
Guys will flip things onto you so that you become the bad one in the relationship even though you might have handled every situation correctly or what he is accusing you of is untrue. The guy may complain that you’re being distant, yet he’s the one avoiding you.
He might say you don’t give him enough space, even though you changed your schedule to only see him once a week. He might say you have no goals when you’re going to school to be a lawyer while he’s sitting on the couch watching TV all day with no job. Hopefully you get the point here. It can be anything from them accusing you of being too dependent to not communicating yet they are the ones that fit what they are accusing you of being.
Ex: He claimed that I had no goals and just wanted to be a house wife just because I cleaned his apartment a few times. Just because I didn’t have a job for five months out of our two year relationship meant I was lazy. It took me five months to get a new job after I was laid off yet somehow I was lazy. For two years I worked five days a week all day except for the five months I was job searching.

He keeps asking about the status of the relationship

If the guy keeps asking “are we okay”, that’s a problem. Now, asking about the status of a relationship if it’s early off like just started dating is something I can pass. When you’re freshly dating, you want to try to make sure you’re doing things right so you can work on correcting big problems so that in the long run you’ll be fine but after awhile you should stop the asking and let things be.
By then if your relationship is good and healthy you won’t even need to be thinking about if you’re doing well. If out of the blue he starts harassing you with this question, it’s his way of saying he doesn’t think you’re doing well together and wants to break it off. Ex: When my ex and I came to our final months together he used to ask if our relationship was good every time I saw him. Each time he asked he worded it differently but it still came down to “are we okay?”
He makes comments/hinting that obviously says he’s done
If he starts making too many jokes about breaking up with you, he probably does. Every time you get into an issue with him, he shouldn’t be saying, “Geez you’re annoying. I should break up with you.” He starts hinting that you have nothing in common or hinting that he’s not right for you.
He may hint that your goals conflict with his even if they don’t. He’s trying to let you know that you’re not going to be around much longer so he’s dropping hints. Ex: My ex made jokes about breaking up with me frequently, even if it wasn’t attached to something bad. We could be eating out and he would say he should break up with me because I liked ranch with my fries instead of ketchup.
Withdrawal, avoiding and ignoring you
Remember the days he used to call or text you when he was on break at his job? These fly out the window as he starts to ignore you. You end up going long periods of time without seeing or hearing from him. When you finally get in touch with him he won’t sound too excited and might want to rush your interactions to keep them short. To put it short he wants to keep it short which means he is over you.
Ex: My ex stopped sending and responding to calls and texts. He would make up excuses to avoid me and I even had friends/family members catch him in his lies. He would say he was at work thus why we couldn’t be together but then my brother would catch him at the mall hanging with friends.
His friends are more important than you
Yes, we all have friends and like to hang with them alone without having your partner clinging to your hand but when the friends come over you, there’s a problem. You should have equal time with friends and your boyfriend. He might start breaking plans with you for his friends. His friends get to see him six of the seven days a week and you just get the one. He’s bored with you and is getting his fun from his pals. Ex: He would break off important dates/events that we had planned for in advance just to go play games with his friends.
by Megan Star

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