NIMEMSALITI MUME WANGU KWA MTU AMBAYE ANATAKA KUMUOA DADA YANGU .

I have only two weeks to confess or it would be too late. Years ago, when I was in England, I seduced one young man whom I eventually got pregnant for.

Though 10 years younger than I am, I couldn’t help myself as he had all the qualities I wanted in a man so I planned it all by inviting him to my house. I knew it was not going to be easy convincing him to have a relationship with me since I was still married to the brother of his elder sister’s husband. It was one of those days when my husband went to France. I wore one of my sexiest nightgowns, which showed off my fantastic body. It didn’t take too long for him to capitulate.

The relationship lasted for a year.

It ended with my husband finding out about it when I became pregnant. He was very scared of the repercussion of accepting responsibility of the pregnancy. The shame of our relationship was too much for him; he left for Scotland. I went ahead to have the baby against the opinion of my friends and family members who expressed the view that I was taking it all too far. They didn’t understand my passion to have a baby when my last child was exactly 10 years old. To be frank, I didn’t understand it my self, I was ready to forfeit my marriage because of my passion for this boy and his child inside of me.

Since I didn’t have his address or contact in Scotland, I bore all the expense of the baby on my own. My husband didn’t bother to come back to England. He along with our first and second sons settled in France, he allowed me to keep the youngest child; our only daughter, because of her age. Needless to say, my children and family were all disappointed in me but I was beyond caring. It was a burning desire to be loved, a satisfaction that I was still attractive enough to attract the attention of a young man and a handsome man too.

Before the incident, my marriage and life was in comatose, my husband was either too tired to pay attention to me or too busy making money to care that I needed that special assurance only a man could give. The excitement in our life was missing, I tried discussing the decline in emotion satisfaction with him but he wasn’t listening. I had no choice but to follow the trend among women in England, having young lovers to give them what their husbands at home cannot give. For me, it was more than fun because I found for the first time that depth that I only imagined but never experienced.

Well, I came back to Africa seven years after that incident to discover the man my sister is getting married to, to be the same man who is the father of my seven year old daughter. The mistake was made because nobody in my family knew him. All they knew about the incident was that I got pregnant and had a baby for a man. He met my sister in Africa five years ago. He did not tell her about his child or me. Seeing him again after all those years brought back my feelings. I went in search for him, and blackmailed him into sleeping with me.

The reason I am writing to you is that he recently called my bluff, saying I could go to the roof top to tell the world about our affair and the child.

Agatha. I am not selfish but I love him so much. I want him for myself. How do I make him understand this before he marries my sister? I also want my daughter to know who her father is. She has of late started asking questions about her father. I want to inform my sister that her husband to be is my daughter’s father. What do you think I should do?